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Revision Progression

1. This week, I am working on my introduction. By this, I not only mean the first few pages that set up my argument, but I am working on the very first paragraph. My peers have expressed that there is no “hook” and that I jump straight into the paper. While this is good and very straightforward, my paper as it was, did not immediately capture the attention of the audience. This is something that I am really working hard on.

2. Here are the things that I need to work on going forward:

  • Re-work my introduction
  • Section my paper by “topics”
  • Edit the existing body of my paper
    • Make sure there is cohesion
      • Use the techniques demonstrated in class
    • Work on transitions
  • Incorporate my voice into the existing paper
  • Be conscious of my diction and wordiness
    • Get to the point without flowery language
    • Take the reader on the mental journey with me
  • Continue to write the remaining bits of my paper
  • Edit it
    • Maintain the cohesion
    • Allow my thoughts to flow with ease and effectiveness
  • Be happy with my final product
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~ by Ravenn Haynes on February 8, 2018.

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